The Simpsons: The 10 Best Comic Book Guy Quotes

Throughout his many appearances, Comic Book Guy has proven a favorite firm with The Simpsons fans, as viewers delight in the cynical nerd’s sarcastic remarks. The Android’s Dungeon owner is responsible for some of the animated sitcom’s funniest lines and has provided some of the show’s most unforgettable scenes.

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Comic Book Guy’s witty words are among some of the series’ most quotable dialogue, with the snarky shopkeeper referencing several pieces of popular culture (such as Marvel and Star Wars). These colorful proclamations also deliver a humorous portrayal of geek culture, with the keen comics collector leading a decidedly lonely life.


Itchy And Scratchy

“Last night’s Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world, ”

The Itchy And Scratchy Show has developed a considerable fan base across Springfield, and one of their most loyal viewers is Comic Book Guy. The Android’s Dungeon shopkeeper appears unimpressed when Poochy is added to the violent cartoon’s cast, however, as he expresses his disgust at the character’s introduction in “The Itchy And Scratchy And Poochy Show.”

These words of contempt reflect Comic Book Guy’s pessimistic outlook, as he furiously declares Poochy’s debut to be “the worst episode ever.” This line acts as an amusing depiction of the nerd community’s often harsh critique of film and television releases, with the comics enthusiast appearing especially enraged by Itchy And Scratchy’s controversial broadcast.

Doctor Who Marathon

“Yes, this should provide adequate sustenance for the Doctor Who marathon …”

Comic Book Guy wheels his tacos out from the shop.

The Simpsons has featured countless references to Doctor Who, but one of the greatest comes in the episode “Bart The Fink.” This entertaining installment sees Comic Book Guy give a humorous nod to the British sci-fi series, as he acquires a hundred tacos for his Doctor Who marathon.

This quote acts as a fun allusion to the iconic BBC program, which many consider to be one of the best multiverse shows. The Android’s Dungeon owner’s comments directly reference the series’ huge number of episodes, which date back to 1963, and act as a witty acknowledgment of the gigantic time commitment a Doctor Who marathon would require.


“There’s no emoticon for what I’m feeling!”

Emoticons have become a significant aspect of online culture, with many internet users choosing to utilize these quirky symbols in their virtual communications. Comic Book Guy has shown a particular interest in this web-based language, as he states his frustrations at Mayor Quimby’s latest political machinations in “The Computer Wore Menace Shoes.”

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Comic Book Guy’s annoyed exasperation at Quimby’s inappropriate spending forms one of his most comical lines, as he laments the lack of an emoticon to properly express his feelings. His dissatisfaction with the mayor results in one of the show’s most priceless gags, with the usually outspoken comics geek suddenly finding himself speechless.

Write For Marvel

“Ooh, me write for Marvel? Be a part of the committee that would decide the fate of the Avengers? Then people like me could make fun of me!”

Comic Book Guy prepares to ask his question at Comic Con, to win his dream Marvel job.

Marvel is responsible for some of the greatest superheroes, with many of their best Avengers still yet to make their MCU debuts. Comic Book Guy demonstrates a keen interest in these comic creations in Season 32’s “Three Dreams Denied,” which follows the uber-geek’s attempt to land a job at Marvel by preparing the perfect Comic-Con question.

This rather excitable line from Comic Book Guy highlights his strong determination to write for Marvel Comics, as he gleefully declares his intent to decide the Avengers’ fate. The passionate superhero nerd’s comments boast a wonderful sense of irony, with his jovial remarks acknowledging how his dream job would see him become a member of the committee he has devoted his life to ridiculing at every opportunity.

Human Contact

“Human Contact. The final frontier…”

Comic Book Guy approaches the support group for friendless individuals.

The Android’s Dungeon may be one of Springfield’s most popular stores, but its owner is considerably less beloved, with Comic Book Guy choosing to spend his free time browsing the internet rather than developing real-world friendships. Season 12’s “Worst Episode Ever” explores this rather sad aspect of Comic Book Guy’s life, as he faces his greatest fear of human interaction.

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Comic Book Guy’s words are hilariously relatable, with the lonely shopkeeper preparing to join a support group for friendless individuals. This truly unforgettable piece of dialogue offers a deep insight into Comic Book Guy’s socially awkward personality, as it reveals the uber-geek’s struggles with social communication.


“That robot is made out of Batmobile, Hobbit hole, and SpongeBob playsets. That’s .. that’s mis-set-genation!”

LEGO Comic Book Guy is furious at Bart Simpson's mixing of LEGO sets.

LEGO’s construction sets are among some of the world’s most popular toys, and The Simpsons has featured many great references to the Danish building block company. One of the greatest can be found in the episode “Brick Like Me,” which involves Comic Book Guy voicing his disapproval at Bart’s creative building techniques.

This line from Comic Book Guy’s LEGO counterpart acts as an enjoyable riff on The LEGO Movie, with the shopkeeper taking a similar stance to Lord Business in regards to mixing the company’s construction sets. Comic Book Guy believes builders must strictly follow the toy’s rules, rather than utilize more imaginative building skills, offering a fascinating contrast to the more innovative mindset of the LEGO Bart Simpson.

The Simpsons’ Horse

“Excuse me. But I believe this family already had a horse, and the expense forced Homer to work at the Kwik-E-Mart with hilarious consequences.”

Comic Book Guy reminds the Simpsons of the time they bought a horse.

The Simpsons have become embroiled in various wacky situations, but one of their most ambitious endeavors involves their purchase of a racehorse in “Saddlesore Galactica.” This fails to impress Comic Book Guy, however, who proceeds to remind the family of their previous equestrian misadventure, upon overhearing their decision to buy the abused fairground pony, Duncan.

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This playful fourth-wall-breaking gag from Comic Book Guy calls back to one of the show’s most popular installments. His sarcastic remarks reference season 3’s “Lisa’s Pony,” which features Homer undertaking a grueling job at the Kwik E Mart to afford a horse for Lisa, revealing some amusing similarities between “Saddlesore Galactica” and one of the show’s earliest stories.

Near-Mint Condition

“You will be preserved in this mylar pouch, remaining in near mint condition, between Doctor Who and, of course, Yasmine Bleeth,”

“Treehouse Of Horror X” is responsible for one of the Comic Book Guy’s finest quotes, with The keen comics nerd appearing in the episode’s third Halloween sketch, entitled “Stretchdude And Clobbergirl.” This witty segment sees the keen comics nerd kidnap Lucy Lawless as his supervillain alter-ego “The Collector,” and attempts to add her to his collection of famous film and television icons.

Comic Book Guy’s villainous proclamation humorously satirizes the obsessive nature of collectors, as it acknowledges the determination of many fans to acquire and preserve collectibles in perfect condition. His dialogue also gives a knowing nod to the Doctor Who community’s affectionate nickname for the Doctor, referring to his fourth incarnation – who has delivered some of the most memorable quotes – as “Doctor Who,” a common nickname among fans of the show’s lead character.

Loneliness And Cheeseburgers

“Ooh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix …”

Comic Guy is wheeled to Doctor Nick's private clinic in My Sister My Sitter.

Comic Book Guy lives a somewhat questionable lifestyle, with the sarcastic shopkeeper having made some poor choices regarding his wellbeing. The Android’s Dungeon owner’s rather unhealthy diet proves his downfall in “My Sister, My Sitter,” as he seeks medical treatment at Doctor Nick’s clinic.

These words of pain and discomfort bring much hilarity to proceedings, as Comic Book Guy emotionally declares loneliness and cheeseburgers to be “a dangerous mix.” The lonesome geek begins to regret the harmful nature of his reclusive way of living, as he finds himself at the mercy of Doctor Nick’s rather dubious medical expertise, resulting in one of the Simpsons’ most quotable lines.

Bizarro World

“Stan Lee insulted me! But in Bizarro World, that means he likes me.”

Stan Lee on The Simpsons

The Simpsons have featured many guest stars over 33 seasons, and “I Am Furious Yellow” sees Comic Book Guy meet his idol, Stan Lee. His encounter with the Marvel legend proves disastrous, however, as Stan insults the snarky nerd’s occupation following his somewhat cruel critique of Bart’s comic book.

Comic Book Guy’s reaction to Stan’s cutting remarks carries a great sense of irony, as he tries to rationalize disappointing the iconic comics writer. It’s a deeply amusing line that highlights the disappointment which can follow when a loyal fan meets his hero, as Comic Book Guy attempts to adjust to a world where Stan Lee disapproves of his employment as a comics shopkeeper.

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